The Secrets of Crafting Compelling Picture Book Opening Lines, Part I

Let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start.

Illustration by Benjamin Chaud

SOS: Secrets of Submitting is in the service of secrets, secrets big and small, unexpected and unspoken.

A “secret” that isn’t shared enough is the truth about the first lines in a picture book manuscript or sketch dummy.

Yes, those “first lines.”

Your first lines (or first spread, if you are an author-illustrator) are exceptionally important. They set the tone for your entire work, and they are the reader’s gateway into your picture book as an “experience.”

In other words, these first lines merit special attention when you are preparing your project for submission. Because—wait for it—your first lines could be holding your project back, stifling your big ideas and narrative arc, or even keeping you in conversation with text (and art) that were key to getting you started, but have since become a hindrance to the solid (and compelling) project that is your aim.

Your first lines are also worth interrogating because they are often what creators hold onto the longest. By definition, they are very often the first words (and pictures) that a creator puts down. And (now this is important) they are the lines that many creators (incorrectly) believe are “set in stone,” somehow locked and incapable of budging, even just a bit.

This is revision “real talk”: If you are mid-manuscript draft or picture book dummy creation, it is very likely that this is the first juncture in your work requiring immediate revision—and perhaps even a complete overhaul.

You might say:

“But my whole project hinges on these initial lines!”

Or:

“My opening spread came to me first and anchors my entire project!”

And:

“If I change my opening sentences, everything after will change!”

If you overhaul this beginning, everything will come tumbling down, right?

Wrong.

Revisiting your opening lines after you have written your entire work or created your sketch dummy (if you are an author-illustrator) is essential. And, yes, that “revisiting” should keep these questions in mind:

• Do your opening lines hook the reader?

• Do your opening lines compel a page turn?

• Do your opening lines start the process of world-building that is crucial to narrative momentum?

And, yes, this is quite the checklist for any creator.

While an agent or editor may not be literally checking the boxes as they review your work, they are thinking these things—and, perhaps more importantly—they are feeling these things. An agent and editor want to be hooked, compelled to turn the page, and feel immersed in your scene-setting and world-building in motion—yes—from the very first spread.

After all, agents and editors are your very first readers, and how these key gatekeepers respond to your work can make—or break—your project’s next steps. So, in a way, submitting to an agent or editor is like an audition for the young readers who will ultimately hold your book in their hands: Your project is taking the stage, and its goal is to “wow” the audience: to keep them reading, eager to know more, motivated to turn page after page after page, and feel invested in your story.

This doesn’t mean that you need to go big or create a story that isn’t true to you or your vision. What it does mean is that you need to be intentional—and strategic—about how this initial impression plays out in relation to your work as a whole.

The first spread and first few lines of a picture book are very likely “throat-clearing,” words and ideas that needed to be put down before you got to the heart, flow, and clarity of your work (as in: the rest of it!). This is part of the creative process and getting started. Taking the leap into a work itself is often the toughest move!

The irony, of course, is that your initial text (and/or illustrations) and your first spread had to be put down for the rest of your story to take shape. Your opening lines in your first draft could be thought of as the inkling of your narrative’s “destiny.” It’s just that this beginning may very well need modifying/editing/overhauling now so that your project, as a whole, can be its strongest—so that your evolving project can achieve its fully-realized destiny as a project that finds dedicated readers (starting with an agent and/or editor).

Now, back to those questions . . .

A picture book opener must:

• Hook the reader

• Compel a page turn

• Start the process of world-building

Let’s take a look at your project-in-progress and assess whether you are hitting these notes . . .

FIRST: READ THE OPENING TEXT ALOUD

When it comes to a children’s picture book, this step is essential. How does your text sound when you read it aloud versus reading it in your head? Are you hearing an energy emanating from the text?

• Is your text well-suited to be read aloud? Does it have presence and poise?

• Does your text assume center stage, compelling the reader to want to know more and—yes—to turn the page?

• Is your first line (or lines) really connected to everything after? Or, do these lines need to be modified now that you have fully developed your work and have more of a narrative arc? Your first lines should be in service of that arc: This is where it all begins. This is the start of the reader’s journey.

Now, ask yourself . . .

ARE YOU HOOKING THE READER?

How do you know if you are “hooking” the reader?

While every project is different, hooks tend to look like this (broadly speaking):

• A strong sense of a problem, conflict, or issue that the book will interrogate, explore, and/or resolve throughout the narrative. This doesn’t mean that the ending should tie everything up—but it does mean that you need to extend the conversation throughout your narrative as it relates to that initial idea.

• A longing or wish that the reader might relate to by dint of being human.

• A question presented, either overtly or subtly, that gets the reader thinking. Of course, the next few spreads (or all of the spreads) will further unpack this meditation, with the reader invested in the ride.

• A topic presented in an intriguing, thought-provoking, or unique way.

ARE YOU COMPELLING A PAGE TURN?

In a picture book, every spread should keep a forward-movement in mind—a momentum that entices the reader to stay with the story. Every spread should motivate the reader to want more, and to read on. While not every spread needs to present a cliffhanger, a spread should share enough story or insight or mystery for a reader to want to turn that page—to want to know what will happen next. This approach to page turns can actually inform the arrangement, and pacing, of your spreads if you are creating a picture book dummy as an author-illustrator.

If you are an author and crafting your manuscript, this approach can also fuel your narrative overall, whether or not you are paginating your manuscript ahead of submission. It is important to hear how your text will be read, and how those page turns might play out later on in the process. (A good editor will start thinking about the layout of your book and how those page turns fall during the acquisition process. So, it is never too early to start thinking about your text and the eventual illustrations.)

In terms of an opening spread, a page turn may be compelled by the following:

• Setting up a desire or a wish: What does the main character want that will be played out in the narrative?

• Asking a question: In that sense, an opening spread is like a springboard, launching the reader into everything after, and making it so that the reader doesn’t want to miss a thing.

• Establishing a “What?!” moment. Think about this as a version of the following: Did I just read (or hear) THAT?! Then, every spread is in the service of that engagement, allowing the reader to stay mindful of where the narrative began, and where the narrative is going.

ARE YOU WORLD-BUILDING?

A reader must have a sense of where they are, even at the very beginning of your project. You don’t have to reveal all in this space—in fact, you probably want to hold off on showcasing all of your book’s secrets in your first (or second, or even third spread). Remember: Your book is an experience. But a reader does need to have a sense of where they are in relation to your story.

You will want to think of your opening lines as possessing a “start here” energy. This is where the experience of your picture book begins. Your opening sentences should be springboards, launching the reader into a world they may know, or a completely new world. You are in charge of how the reader navigates this journey.

This means that it is crucial that the reader start to have a sense of where they are as they read, even if this is a world in the process of being revealed.

World-building can look like this . . .

• Ensuring that the reader knows when the story takes place. Are we in the present, the past, or a time that is out of time and/or timeless? The great news is that you control this “location.” But your text and your art need to communicate a sense of the “when” and assure the reader that, with every page turn, they will know more, and understand all.

• Being mindful of the story’s energy: Are you winding the reader down, or amping the reader up? Is this a story that is primed for reading aloud or quiet contemplation? Your first lines should anchor the reader in that notion so that your narrative can deliver a story that is at once satisfying and enlivening.

• Actually building a world! Where is the reader as the story begins? And where does the story promise to take the reader? Your “where” should be at once intentional and grounding while suggesting surprises (hence the compelled page turn).

Now, over to you: Take a look at the opening lines in your picture book manuscript or dummy. Are you delivering on the above? Do your first few sentences make you want to read on?

If you step back and assess your work with the above considerations in mind, you will make major headway when it comes to hooking the agents and editors who may be reviewing your work.

And, chances are, your first few lines really were placeholders—that necessary “throat-clearing,” aka revving up your creative engines—and the gateways to the rest of your project. In that case, give yourself major kudos for your original inspiration and efforts, and thank them for doing this necessary—and important—work!

Now, give yourself permission to say “goodbye” to that initial effort as you revise. “Goodbye” and “thank you.”

Your must-read opening lines are ready for you now.

Really.

Naomi and Debbie

In The Secrets of Crafting Compelling Picture Book Opening Lines, Part II, Debbie and Naomi will share examples of their favorite picture book opening spreads. Stay tuned!